How to date a cosplayer. Oh boy here we go!
I didn’t think I would be writing a topic about this. But here we are. I see there was some demand for this topic, so I decided why not talk about it? After all, not only am I a cosplayer, but I also have dated cosplayers as well.
So about cosplay dating…is it any different from regular dating? Yes and no. Dating a cosplayer can be just as enjoyable or miserable as any other relationship with a non-cosplayer. There are some great things about dating a cosplayer, such as being into the same hobby and being able to attend conventions together. At the same time, dating a cosplayer can be stressful as well, as some of the stereotypes regarding cosplayers can typically be true!
Either way, I want to share 10 interesting facts about cosplay dating, based on Senpai’s experience. Keep in mind, my experiences are only a small fraction of the reality of cosplay dating and should not represent it as a whole. There are many, many different variations of relationships that happen with cosplayers, so my experiences cannot simply speak for everyone.
With that said, here are my thoughts on it.
1. It’s interesting when it comes to cosplay dating and video games
Here’s my first insight on how to date a cosplayer.
I’ve dated both women are just normies, as well as female cosplayers. And almost all of the female cosplayers are gamers like me, which is totally awesome! Getting to play the same video games together is really enjoyable. With cosplayers, they actually show me a lot of video games that I haven’t played myself. I like seeing games that I haven’t played before, and them sharing their experiences with me is great.
One time a girl I dated showed me how to do something with a certain video game system. I didn’t even know how that worked, so even I don’t know it all when it comes to video games.
In my experience dating cosplayers, not only are they knowledgeable when it comes to video games (even more so than me at times), but they play video games I’ve never even heard of! During the period I dated them, they never told me the video games they like until I saw them play the game. I guess gaming isn’t something they want to share, like us guys do. Maybe it’s something they cherish to themselves?
Now when it came to dating normie girls, it was also very fun playing video games with them. However, it was usually me taking the initiative to bring out the consoles. And I always tried to make interesting and casual, such as with video games like Mario Kart. And surprisingly, they were good at it too. One girl I dated kicked my ass in Soul Calibur, and she never played the game before!
So if you’re a guy and plan to date a cosplayer, expect to have their horizons broadened by a cosplayer. Because they’re just as big as experts are you are! With video games being so mainstream today, I expect this trend to continue.
2. You must be resilient
When it comes to how to date a cosplayer, maybe you’re already turned off?
Because if you do a Google search about cosplayers and mental health, you’ll get a bunch of auto suggestions along the lines of,
“Are cosplayers mentally ill?”
“Why are cosplayers weird?”
“Are cosplayers toxic?”
So yes, cosplayers have a reputation for not having the best mental health. And I can say from my experience, I have dated cosplayers with serious mental health issues. Not all of them of course, but definitely some of them.
You have to remember in a diverse community of cosplay, you’ll come across someone where mental health is not their strength.
All I will say is if you want to make it work long-term, you got to be mentally strong as well. There will be times when your partner isn’t feeling great mentally, and you got to be there to support them.
With that said, that doesn’t mean they’re not worth dating. They can be the sweetest and most loving person on Earth. And I’ve gotten the privilege to experience that love from them! Just know that sometimes, dating a cosplayer can be like a rollercoaster ride. Lots of ups and downs. Certainly more so than dating a normie, at least from my experiences.
I think these days, a lot of people struggle with mental health, so it’s not fair to say that cosplayers are the only ones who deal with mental health issues. Like dating any other person, you just got to be understanding and be with them when they need you.
(NOTE: Although the main purpose of this site is cosplay and not dating, I’d like to highlight that if you yourself are not comfortable and emotionally secure/mature, it’ll be quite prevalent to your partner and may not be a successful relationship, cosplay community or not.)
3. You got to enforce your boundaries
In the previous section, I mention dealing with the difficult times with dating a cosplayer and being there to support them. With that said, there are times where you need to put your foot down and set your boundaries. No one, including a cosplayer, has the right to disrespect you and put you down. Be kind and be calm, but also be assertive. It’s important to be assertive; otherwise you’ll establish that it’s okay to be abusive towards you.
But if it gets to the point where it gets abusive, then you have to ask yourself if it’s worth continuing the relationship. There’s a difference between being supportive and taking abuse. Don’t confuse the two.
4. It’s interesting watching them get ready for cosplaying
When it comes to cosplay, I don’t really spend too much time getting ready during a convention. I put on a few pieces of clothing material, maybe clean up my face and hair a bit and I’m good to go!
But some of the partners I’ve dated are quite the opposite of me, as they spent a long ass time getting ready. One girl I dated spent almost an hour just putting on facial make-up. It was quite interesting to see as a guy; her make-up kit looked like an art palette full of colors. I can appreciate how dedicated and talented she was at make-up.
Of course, it’s always fun helping them get ready as well. Whether it’s helping them put on a certain part of the cosplay or when they ask for your opinion on how they look. It’s so enjoyable being able to share a convention experience together!
5. It’s okay to want some alone time, especially at conventions
Another interesting but debatable topic when it comes to cosplay dating, needing time to yourself. For me I’m an introvert, so I get DRAINED when I have to socialize for a very long time. So just like how your partner has things they want to be accommodated for, so can you. For me, I always tell my partner I need my alone time to recharge my social battery.
This is especially true at cosplay conventions. I feel like there’s an obligation to where if you’re dating someone, you both have to be with each other at all times. I don’t think it’s true. Just like going to a con with friends, there are things you want to do and your friends want to do, and they might be at the same time. So it’s okay to split up, go alone and meet up later in the day.
Some of my cosplay partners were totally okay with me splitting away from her at the con, while other times it was incredibly difficult. Either way, I feel it’s important to have your own independence, even if you’re dating someone in the cosplay community.
6. Your cosplay will get better!
In my experience, everytime I’ve dated a cosplayer, my cosplay gets better! How? Your partner will always help you become a better cosplayer. I guess the ones I dated were pretty talented cosplayers, so I learned a lot from them. Perhaps they loved being honest with me, but they always told me upfront when my cosplay look wasn’t the greatest, and they would tell me how to improve on it. I always appreciated that honesty. That’s the one perk with dating a cosplayer; they make you so much better at cosplaying! Now that shouldn’t be the only reason why you date them though. 😉
Also, your cosplay partner will help you with your cosplay as well. They helped style my wigs and make my cosplay look prettier. It’s so awesome what they did for me. The love for cosplay that they have…it definitely drifts over to you and your costumes as well. All the techniques I’ve learned today and utilize today, I probably learned from a cosplayer that I dated. It’s interesting to see how they all have different techniques and methods to go about wearing their costumes.
I wrote an article about how to improve your cosplay, but I never included dating a cosplayer as one way to do so. Maybe I should!
7. It’s interesting hearing their experiences regarding the cosplay community
I suppose this applies only to me because I’m a male and only get to see one side of the community, and not from a non-male perspective. But when I dated female cosplayers, the stories and experiences they shared with me were very interesting and enlightening. Stories such as:
- Photographer creepy stories
- All the weird DMs they get
- All the attention they get
- The bullshit they have to deal with
It’s really crazy to see a side I probably will never get to see as a guy. But I’m always intrigued by their stories and experiences, no matter how crazy they can be. There are things that I can relate to, and other stuff that I cannot. Either way, I think it’s an important to bond with your partner. If they ask about my experiences, I don’t mind sharing either. But usually they don’t care about mine. 🙁
8. I actually never got the experience to do a couples cosplay
This is one of the things that is on my list of things to do. But I never got to be the Naruto to a Hinata, a Naofumi to a Raphtalia or a Tanjiro to a Kanao! I just never got the opportunity yet to do so. I always wondered what it’s like to do a couples cosplay. Does it get annoying being bombarded by all the photo requests? Does your partner get nitpicky about the way you two look? Is there a fight between the cosplay couple you guys want to do? I’m curious to know about these things!
Here are the cosplay couples I want to do one day:
- Kaeya and Ganyu
- Naofumi and Raphtalia
- Naruto and Hinata
- Robin and Tharja
- Bugs and Lola Bunny
That’s one of the things I want to accomplish and be able to do that with a girl. I’d love to know what your dream couple would be?
One day I shall do a real couples cosplay! If you’ve done a couples cosplay, hit me up in the comments and let me know how it’s like.
9. Overall, it was a wonderful learning experience
It’s not just about how to date a cosplayer, but what you learn from it.
Having dated cosplayers, I’ve learned so much about them and myself. Yes, when you’re in a relationship, you tend to self-reflect and look at yourself in the mirror (figuratively). You start to know your strengths and weaknesses, because believe me, your partner will challenge you mentally at times!
But in the end, I think this is also an opportunity for you to grow as a person as well. No one is perfect in this world. Definitely not me! So when I am privileged to date someone, including a cosplayer, I take it as an opportunity to share my life with someone and be vulnerable to them. Whatever happens, happens. Whether the relationship ends up being good or bad, it’ll always be a learning experience for me.
10. Giving yourself opportunities in order to date a cosplayer
Last but not least when it comes to how to date a cosplayer…how do you find one in the first place?
In my newsfeed, I always hear about my friends wanting to find a Waifu or Husbando, or both! But I will say in my experience, you got to put yourself out there in order for that opportunity to happen! Whether that’s attending cosplay conventions, going to social events or taking every networking opportunity you can, putting yourself out there will only increase your chances of finding your perfect partner. I met all my cosplay partners by going out there and taking the initiative. It sure didn’t fall on my lap like it does in Anime or video games.
Now that doesn’t mean go out and be creepy and make potential someone feel uncomfortable. You don’t want to end up on the long list of con creeper horror stories; there are far too many of those lately.
Please do not do that! All I’m saying is that if you want to find a special someone, take the time to go out and network and put yourself out there. Who knows, maybe a special someone is out there for you.
For those who struggle with social situations, including dating and interactions with those they fancy, I recommend reading this book Models, by Mark Manson. It personally helped me a lot with social interactions a while back ago, and how to be my best and honest self. I truly believe it could help you out as well, if you were in the same boat as me back then.
Here’s a summary of all the points I touched on, regarding how to date a cosplayer:
- It’s interesting when it comes to cosplay dating and video games
- You must be resilient
- You got to enforce your boundaries
- It’s interesting watching them get ready for cosplaying
- It’s okay to want some alone time, especially at conventions
- Your cosplay will get better!
- It’s interesting hearing their experiences regarding the cosplay community
- I actually never got the experience to do a couples cosplay
- Overall, it was a wonderful learning experience
- Giving yourself opportunities in order to date a cosplayer
And there you have it; 10 points about cosplay dating and how to date a cosplayer.
I hope you found this post useful and interesting. Cosplay dating is definitely a complicated subject. But I figure it’s a topic that I found worth breaking the ice for. It’s a subject that a lot of cosplayers want to know and learn from. Again, don’t take my experience as gospel, as my dating life is not indicative of what it always will be. I’m just Senpai, after all. 😉
My name is Roger Senpai. I’m a cosplayer that’s been in the community for well over a decade now. I’ve traveled all over the world to Anime and Comic conventions and hosted my own cosplay events. Now I’m writing articles for new and experienced cosplayers like you to help inspire, save you money and improve your cosplays!